December is full of writing that has nothing to do with school: wish lists, letters to Santa, cards for teachers and grandparents, and maybe a class card exchange. For a lot of kids, it’s the only writing all year they actually want to do. For a child who finds writing hard, it can also become one more struggle for them.
I’ve seen it happen more times than I can count.
One year I was working with a third grader on a holiday card. He knew exactly what he wanted to say. But his letters were so big and his spaces were wide, and halfway through his first sentence he ran out of room. He looked at that card, realized his message wasn’t going to fit, and scribbled over the whole thing.
This child was very frustrated. His ideas were bigger than the space he had to put them in.
So we changed the plan. First, I had him write a rough draft on regular paper, just to get his message down without worrying about the card. Then I added a simple border and a few lines inside the card so he could see exactly where his words needed to go. I helped him with spacing by using a popsicle stick between each word. He was able to finish that card, and he was so proud of it.
That’s really what this post is about: setting kids up so their ideas can make it onto the paper or card.
A quick note on age: what worked for that third grader isn’t what I’d ask of a five-year-old. Young children write big, and that’s okay. Perfect isn’t expected.
Why one little card can feel so hard
Writing a few lines in a card asks your child to do a lot at once. They have to think of what to say, hold onto that thought while they spell each word, form every letter, space the words, and fit it all into a small, oddly shaped space. Then they have to do it again for the next card.
For most kids, some of those steps happen on autopilot. For a child with handwriting struggles or dysgraphia, every single step takes effort. By the third card, they’re tired, and the writing (and the mood) falls apart.
The answer is to take a few of those jobs off their plate.
Separate the thinking from the writing
This is the biggest change you can make. Let your child say the message first, and you write it down or type it into your phone. Then decide how much they write themselves:
Younger or very frustrated kids write their name, or just “Love, ___.”
Kids who can do a little more copy one sentence from your notes.
Older kids write the whole thing, using your notes as their rough draft, just like my third grader did.
Being your child’s scribe at home works great. Their ideas are often much stronger out loud than on paper, and this lets those ideas shine. (If that sounds familiar, my post Why Can My Child Explain It Out Loud but Not Write It Down? explains why.)
Wish lists: the easiest place to start
A list is the gentlest kind of writing: no sentences, no punctuation, no “what do I say next?”
Make a picture list. Cut photos from a toy catalog and let your child glue them down, then write one word (or just the first letter) under each.
Give them a word bank. Write tricky words like “Lego” or “scooter” on a sticky note so they can copy instead of spell.
Let them type it. A wish list typed on a tablet still counts.
Letters to Santa (or anyone far away)
Use a fill-in-the-blank frame: “Dear ___, This year I ___. I would love ___. Love, ___.” The frame does the heavy lifting.
Give them room. A full sheet of paper with big lines is much easier than a small card.
Spread it out. One part tonight, one part tomorrow.
Let a drawing carry the message. A picture with a one-line caption is a complete letter.
Holiday cards: December’s biggest writing job
Between teacher cards, a class exchange and family, December can mean a dozen cards or more. A few things help:
Rough draft first, then the card. It’s the same trick that saved my third grader’s card.
Add lines or a border. Lightly pencil a few lines inside the card, or slip a lined sheet inside, so your child can see where the words go.
Let a signature be enough for the class exchange. Save longer messages for one or two special people.
Use a short formula: “Dear ___, Happy holidays! Thank you for ___. Love, ___.” Three lines is plenty.
Do a few a day. Three cards a night beats twenty in one sitting.
Make names easy to copy. Write classmates’ names on a sticky note, or print labels.
Thank-you notes for family gifts work the same way: “Thank you for the ___. I like it because ___. Love, ___.” And if writing is truly a struggle, a photo of your child with the gift or a short video for Grandma counts too.
Small setup changes that make a big difference
Warm up the hands first. Rolling cookie dough, squeezing play dough or tearing wrapping paper for a few minutes gets little hands ready.
Sit well. A table at the right height, with feet flat on the floor or on a stool, makes writing steadier.
Keep it short. Five to ten minutes, then a break.
Praise the message before the neatness. Point out the kind thing they said before you notice a backwards letter.
Use this month to notice
You’ll probably see more of your child’s writing in December than in any other month at home. Without making a big deal of it, quietly notice:
Do they say their hand hurts or gets tired quickly?
Do they avoid writing, even for things they’re excited about?
Is what they write much shorter or simpler than what they say?
Do they erase over and over, or press so hard the paper tears?
Do they run out of room because their letters or spacing are very large for their age?
Jot down what you see. Every child has messy, rushed days, but if several of these keep showing up over weeks, not just once, it’s worth a closer look. Not sure if it’s “just messy” or something more?
My free guide, Messy Handwriting or Something More?, walks you through six signs I look for as a pediatric OT and what you can do next. Get the free guide
Happy holidays, and happy writing!
Cherie Johnson, MOT, OTR/L, is a pediatric occupational therapist with more than 20 years of experience helping children with handwriting and dysgraphia. She is the founder of Ready-2-Write.
Ready-2-Write provides handwriting and dysgraphia support for families. It does not provide occupational therapy, medical, or diagnostic services.